Insecurities, Karaoke and The Nanny

Monday, September 19, 2011

Last Friday night, I watched this movie, 'You Again' on StarMovies for the first time.
Here's the storyline:
As a teenager Marni was the kind of girl no guy would go near and would be tormented by the mean girls, and no one was meaner to her than Joana the head cheerleader. Years later, she's a successful woman with a good job. When she goes home for her brother's wedding she discovers that her brother is marrying Joana. When they meet she wants Joana to apologize for the way she treated her but Joana feigns ignorance. When Marni tells her mother, Gail about her and Joana, Gail tells her to try and put it behind her. But when Gail learns that Joanna's aunt Mona is her old friend Ramona who was her friend in high school whom she had confrontation with years ago, Gail feels like Mona is trying to thumb her success in her nose. When Marni learns that Joana does remember her she sets to expose her to her brother. (Source: IMDB)

What I can relate to the most in this movie is the 'insecurities' exposed. No, I didn't get bullied in high school. But like Marni, like Gail, I do have some insecurities about myself, mostly physically. I might not be crazy about it. However, those insecurities still affect how I act in some ways. For example, I have this irrational fear of getting fat - no matter how skinny I am at the moment, like now, I weigh only 40kgs. I am also quite obsessed with my hair, making sure they're still in their place every 5 mins or so. Admit it or not, look DOES matter to me.
And, pathetic or not, I still even, mostly subconsciously, use 'look' as my barometer. I want to look my best because I need that to be comfortable around my friends, or beside my boyfriend. Admit it or not, I don't want to look under their rate, I want to be accepted to their standard, and for my boyfriend, I need to feel that I am decent enough (beautiful and smart) for him to be sure that I'm worth loving.
I remember one time when I got extra sensitive about this issue. Bitterly I admitted this weakness of mine to my boyfriend, and I remember he said, "I don't care whether you're fat or skinny. I don't care whether you look beautiful or not. You are to me. I don't care whether you're smart or not. I'm not looking for pretty girls, I'm not looking for smart girls. I love you."
I remember, with tears streaming down my face, that after he said that, I felt a huge weight was lifted from my chest. It reminded me that my look doesn't matter to those who love me the most. They will never judge me from it, such shallow factor. It reminded me to dress up and look good for myself, because I'm feeling like it; not because I need that desperately for others to accept me.
Of course, those insecurities don't just leave the house after night. I still feel that sometimes. But then I can remind myself. Thanks to you. (':

Now, on a lighter note,
I spent my Saturday night with my best friends here in Bandung. Actually, that Saturday night happened to be my sweet 16th monthsary with my boyfriend. However, we couldn't spend the night together because he had to go to Jakarta visit his mom, who had just been through a surgery. And sadly, I couldn't accompany him to Jakarta as well. )':
So, as promised to my best friends, I went karaoke with them in Paris van Java (PVJ). Thankfully, it was so FUN like madness. We sang our lungs out woohoo!
The awesome 'concert' made us like, STARVING afterwards. So we drove our way to Nanny's Pavillon Garden in Riau Street (where a large number of factory outlets and cafes in Bandung is).


Nanny's Pavillon is a themed restaurant. The one we visited last Saturday is themed 'garden'. Other themes you can find are Library (in Setiabudhi, Bandung), Barn (in Alam Sutera, Serpong), Bathroom (Pacific Place, Jakarta), and many others. The Nanny's specialties are pancakes/waffles, pasta, and baked rice. For more information, you can click here.
Here's some more glimpse of Nanny's Pavillon Garden in Riau, Bandung.


I really recommend this place. The foods are quite good and with reasonable price; for example, the menu I regularly order is spaghetti bolognese and cookies-and-cream milkshake. I especially love the ambience of this place. It suits me like, SO much. Very classical, quite vintage.


So, whenever you come to Bandung, you know you can contact me, and maybe I'll take you around! (;

A memorable song we sang in the karaoke,
Kamu sangat berarti, istimewa di hati
Selamanya rasa ini
Bila tua nanti kita t'lah hidup masing-masing
Ingatlah hari ini


You mean a lot to me, so special in my heart
This feeling is forever
When later we are old, and we're no longer together
Remember this very day
(A song dedicated to my Bandung besties)

PS. Happy sweet 16, Y. :*


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